30 October 2012

Yes, I feel entitled to welfare.

As I hang up the phone after talking to Centrelink, I realise that I DO feel entitled to welfare.

In a previous life, as a good corporate tax payer I sneered at those "dole bludgers" and "single mums" who just "wouldn't get a job" and expected the government to provide for them.

Then shit happened.  I am now one of "those" single mums and rely on my government benefits to get me through each fortnight.

Yes, I feel entitled.  I didn't choose the life I'm living.  I chose a different life and I am finding it hard to let that go. I chose a comfy and cozy middle class life with a well paid husband, a nice house in the suburbs, regular holidays and time at home to raise my children.


When my financial dire straights first became apparent, I scrambled to get a job, even though I loathed the idea of going back to the rat race.  I even got a job I enjoyed and was able to buy our own little unit, or rather, a mortgage.

By the time I was in a different job, nowhere near as nice as the previous one, I got sick of owning a mortgage and being owned by my employer.  So I quit.  I sold our unit and chose to live off the profits and government benefits.


I always intended, and still intend, to become financially self-sufficient.  I expected to either find another "job" or earn enough from self-employment.  It has taken longer than I expected and my savings are dwindling.  I am beginning to panic.  With that panic comes an increasing sense of reliance on my benefits and annoyance at the hoops I have jump in order to keep getting it.

I didn't choose to be a sole parent and I believe that our welfare system is there for the people whose lives have been thrown into disarray by circumstances beyond their control.  The system is there to help them get back on their feet.  Unfortunately, the system can do little for me in terms of finding work, but it can help me set up my business and partially support me while I build it up.

There are some that see welfare as a lifestyle choice and go through the motions of jumping through the hoops without any real desire to change.  That is not me.  I resent the hoops because I didn't choose to be here.  I have full intention of being self-sufficient, but I resent the fact that I have to do it all by myself.  That was not in the plan.  I cling to that plan, to the promises made and to my lost expectations.

I didn't choose to be a sole parent, but I did make the choices that have led me to be here.  I need to let go of the past, of the resentment, of the plan.  I thought I had, but obviously not.  To be honest, I feel at a loss as to what else I can do to help me let go.  Nobody seems to have the answers.

Do you think we should feel entitled to welfare?




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29 October 2012

There are times....

When you want to scream "I hate you!!" at the top of your voice at them.....

When every sound they make grates like nails on an old fashioned blackboard.....

When they bicker and fight and whine all day.....

When you shout at them to stop shouting.....

When you can't bear to have them sit next, or more likely on top of, you.....

When you keep finding yourself in bed with the doona over your head to drown out the noise.....

When you can't wait to get out of their rooms at bed time....

When the morning, afternoon and evening routines fill you with dread.....

Then, it's time to call mum and arrange a weekend's worth of respite care for them.  Well, for you actually.....




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28 October 2012

Rocking the ice cream

This post is sponsored by Cold Rock Ice Creamery.

When I was little and growing up in Poland, ice cream was something we went out for.  Mainly because not everyone had a fridge and when they did, they were tiny, with miniscule freezer compartments.  Also, because ice cream just wasn't readily available in supermarkets and shops. Yes, those were truly the "olden" communist days.

Going out for ice cream or cake (or both!) was always a big deal.  A big deal met with glee by yours truly.

There were two main ice cream shops we frequented - one sold all kinds of desserts, including cakes, jellies, sundaes, and whipped cream with nuts and sultanas.  The other one served ice cream in cones.  Strawberry and vanilla only.  The queues were always huge for both, especially in summer, but we still went and dutifully lined up and waited our turn.  Every time, it was soooo worth it....  I still haven't found strawberry ice cream as good as that.

To this day, I can smell ice cream from miles away.  There is something so comforting about ice cream, isn't there?  Otherwise, why would we turn to it, when our lives turn to shit?

During my marriage break up, I virtually lived on ice cream sundaes and tubs of specialty ice cream that I treated myself to.

Is it surprising then that when an opportunity to visit an ice cream shop "for work" presented itself, I jumped at it?  It's like being paid to visit heaven. (Or a chocolate factory.)

We noticed the Cold Rock Ice Creamery as soon as we arrived in Ballarat, but since it was winter, it wasn't high on our list of places to check out.  It was definitely on our "To Do" list though.

When we finally made it there, it was packed, and it wasn't even a particularly warm, or sunny, day (welcome to Ballarat!).

I was surprised that apart from the dizzying array of mix-ins for your ice cream, Cold Rock have a huge range of ice cream flavours as well.  Even......... Ferrero!

"Choose it, mix it, smash it, love it!"
So, as the slogan goes, we chose our ice cream, our mix-ins and the girl behind the counter smashed it!  And we definitely loved it.

I had delicious Ferrero ice cream with triple-choc cookie dough and Flake, while the boys chose vanilla ice cream with Tim Tams and Maltesers for one, and Freckles and Kit Kat for the other.  As my nine year old told me, "All my favourite desserts mixed together!".

I have a feeling we'll be back....




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